I have been reading this book off and on for a year. It has some amazing insights concerning how to deal with yourself and others. I have a couple of quotes that have been following me around for the last few days I thought I would share with you.

The definition of react- to act with intense emotion but without clear purpose. Ury illustrates this point with the following story. One day, a samurai went to collect a debt from a fisherman. "I'm sorry," the fisherman said, "but this last year has been a very bad one for me, and I regret to say I do not have the money to repay you." Quick to anger, the samurai drew his sword and prepared to kill the fisherman on the spot. Thinking fast, the fisherman boldly said, "I have been studying martial arts and my master teaches that you should never strike out of anger."

The samurai looked at him for a minute, then slowly lowered his sword. "your master is wise," he said quietly. "my master used to teach the same lesson. Sometimes my anger gets the better of me. I will give you one more year to repay your debt, but if you fail by even a penny, I will surely kill you."

The samurai returned to his house, arriving late at night. He crept in quietly, not wishing to wake his wife, but to his shock, he found two people in the bed, his wife and a stranger dressed in samurai clothing. With a surge of jealousy and anger, he raised his sword to slay them both, but suddenly the fisherman's words came back to him: "Do not strike out of anger." The samurai stopped for a moment, took a deep breath, and then deliberately made a loud noise. His wife instantly woke up, as did the "stranger," who turned out to be his mother.

"What is the meaning of this?" he yelled. "I almost killed you both!"

"We were afraid of robbers," his wife explained. "So I dressed your mother up in your samurai clothes to scare them off."

A year passed and the fisherman came to see the samurai. "I had an excellent year, so here is your money back and with interest," the fisherman said happily to him.

"Keep your money," replied the samurai. "You repaid your debt long ago."